Meditation Practice
/Meditation practice can be challenging - there I’ve said it!
Even with extensive practice it can still throw up challenges.
Sometimes we may find that no matter what we do we can’t get into a groove. Often these challenges are simply the manifestation of the very stresses and stains of everyday life, the ones which we hope to calms through meditation - this seems circular.
You start your mediation and quickly find you are observing and feeling stresses and distracted thinking as the rhythm of your body and mind reacts to an overloading level of external and internal stimuli. How can I possibly mediate with so many thoughts and voices. Ultimately, this is the very challenge of mediation to quieten these - even for a brief interlude - to provide the means for your mind, body and breath to calm and find space to reboot and ultimately to bring a new level of focus to the things that matter most.
We are all aware that there are days when your mind, for whatever reason, is super fast and distracted - you find yourself bouncing around like a pinball from thought to thought, varied tasks, activities, memories, emotional responses - it’s no wonder we end up tired. Meditation is one mechanism that allows you to identify the distractions, acknowledge them and act by taking some focused and mindful breaths to adjust and slow the body and mind, bringing a little more clarity, space and balance.
What we need to remain mindful of it that meditation practice is just that - practice. We shouldn’t seek to tie ourselves to a defined outcome each time. As the adverts say “results may vary”.
It’s never a truly consistent experience. Let’s break the myth that those who are experienced in meditation simply fall into effective practice everyday. Our bodies and minds are changing all the time, responding to external and internal stimuli. Meditation when wrapped in mindfulness is about recognising the present moment, where you are, how you are etc. The practice is bound to differ.
Your mind can, and will, undoubtedly wander - this will vary. This is an entirely normal human trait which reflects a reaction to current circumstances and environment. With practice we may be able to be more consistent - that is the intent of the practice.
There are so many myths and falsehoods with mindful meditation which differ to the true value of the practice:
Counter to myths, meditation isn't targeted at seeking to empty the brain of all thoughts. The more you focus on that, the more you will find thoughts come into your mind and the more frustrated you will become.
Mindful meditation recognises that your mind will wander, all we need do is to recognise when it does and gently bring it back, without any judgement or self-criticism, or creation of self-doubt about meditation. We simply bring it back to our practices.
Wandering is entirely normal and, in fact, is central to the practice of gradually training the mind to bring focus to the practice, again and again. Each time it wanders, acknowledge it and gently, very gently bring your focus back - whether it be your breath, the word that you are focusing on, or the scan of your body.
It is this practice of mediative focus, identifying distraction, acknowledging distraction and non-critical action to return to your breath that is central to meditation. As we practice and have to draw our mind back, we are building muscle memory, we are building the ability to maintain focus.
Finding a rhythm greatly assists practice of meditation - as it does with anything you're learning. I find that if I get up earlier than normal, when the house is quiet, it provides a perfect space for my meditation time. It becomes a time I value and look forward to and fits into a nice rhythm in the morning.
As with all things - the more you practice the more natural it will feel. The more you will become practiced at recognising the way your mind and body feel at that moment and how it changes day to day. The more you will be capable of gently bringing the mind back to focus when it wanders - without judgement.
Creating a valuable space for mediation (mentally, physically and temporally) is important. It doesn’t need to be a crafted room with one cushion in the middle of a bamboo floor or take an hour of your time. The physical and temporal space is easily created - whether it be a few moments alone in the car, a spot to sit under a tree, sitting in the lounge before everyone is up. You don’t need much space or much time.
A few minutes each day is far better than trying to set aside 20 minutes on a weekend. The important element is the mental space and consistency. Give your mind the courtesy of space - a little room to breathe in an otherwise hectic day. Let it have those few minutes. Again, this is why I like to practice early in the morning when everyone is asleep so that my mind is not facing any pressure of needing to do something, such as to get the kids ready for school or get my self ready for work. So my inner voice is not about to yell at me “don’t forget you have to….”
You don’t need to sit cross-legged on a cushion chanting a mantra. This works for many, but it’s really about what works for you. Meditation is personal, it’s your time and space. So long as you feel comfortable you can meditate. The last thing anyone needs is to feel an obligation to sit cross-legged and find themselves thinking about how uncomfortable they are the entire time. Personally I sit at the dining table some days and others in a comfy chair with my feet flat on the floor and sitting up right.
Practices to Try
Find a quiet and comfortable spot - where you are unlikely to be disturbed. But even if you are - you can always gently bring yourself back to the practice, again with judgement of you or judgement/criticism of the source of the the distraction (whether kids, dogs, neighbours…)
Sitting comfortably, take three slow deep breaths. Each time you exhale, feel the air leaving your body and try to exhale every bit of air. As you do try to relax into your position, relax your shoulders and unclench your hands and let your arms and hands simply sit on your thighs.
Continue to breath, focusing on one aspect of your breath - whether the air entering or leaving via your nose, the feeling of your chest or stomach rising and falling. Focus on the sound and the sensation of each breath. As you do, count from 1 to 10 - 1 inhale, 2 exhale, 3 inhale and so on. Repeat this as many times as you need.
Again when you find you mind wanders gently bring it back to counting and feeling each breath.
An alternative or an additional approach, and my personal favourite, is a body scan. After a few cycles of 1-10 breathing, bring your focus to your toes, see if you can feel them touching the ground or the feeling of your sock or shoe and the ground beneath, seek to feel the sensation of your toes and then move your focus to your feet, and then your ankles.
Very gradually you move your focus through your calves, knees, front and back of your legs, buttocks, lower back - seeking to feel each area. I sometimes feel a warm sensation or a tingling as I move from one area to another. If I feel that I have lost focus I may gently return my focus to an earlier point (e.g. calves and and move up through the legs again to where I was).
After your hips move up through you stomach and chest and back, upper..then lower arms..fingers..back up the arms to the shoulders and then neck.
Gradually move up the back of the neck and across the back of the head around the top to the forehead and then slowly down the face. Sit for a few moments seeking to consider and feel your entire body - gently move around from area to area.
At this juncture, you can start to bring your focus back to the room and your breathing. I often find that as I start to bring my attention back to the room and my breathing, I notice that I can no longer truly sense where my hands and feet are - they seem dulled. As I come back o the present I stretch my fingers and lift my shoulders, feeling the body awaken and slowly open my eyes - leaving me refreshed and ready to face the world.
I personally find this practice to be invigorating - I don’t do it all the time and sometimes simply sit counting my breaths for a few minutes as my mind and body relax into the moment.
There are many guided meditations available today - such as those provided by Smiling Mind - they’re great to get you started and sometimes you will find that you don’t need to use them all the time or ever, but they’re a great resource to start with and return to when you feel the need, desire or some familiar company.
