Negative Visualisation - Really...?
/One of the practices that is often spoken about within Stoicism is ‘Negative Visualisation’. It’s both a challenging concept and practice to get your head around. There are perhaps two good reasons for the challenge:
the promotion of ‘Positive Visualisation’ in recent decades within self-improvement literature and across social media - think deeply and positively and your desire may appear a step closer,
put simply, it is confronting to visualise having to face up to some exceptionally negative and emotionally charged outcomes - it is not something we normally contemplate purposefully with intent. It is very different to the unintentional generation of subconscious doubts and fears of failure, often to the detriment of our self-confidence and intentional action.
How then, on the face of it, can Negative Visualisation assist our levels of stress, anxiety, confidence and general wellbeing? It seems counter-intuitive, particularly compared to the potential silver lining offered by positive thinking and visualising our success.
Some of the key things I will touch upon in this post will include:
So what is Negative Visualisation?
How is it used?
What is its value - if anything?
Have I used it and with what results?
Positive Visualisation - Does it have a place?
Before we move to Negative Visualisation lets quickly touch on its close relative - Positive Visualisation. Personally, I don’t doubt that there is something valuable in Positive Visualisation, particularly as it relates to setting goals and creating a personal action plan, generating traction towards achievement of those goals. It is useful in seeing what our goals are; focusing on the art of the possible; potentially generating a sense of belief in the opportunity that exists; building our confidence to move towards the goal - to back yourself!
This is a healthy mindset and one which, if done well, can generate actions that align with the goal at hand - it can genuinely inspire motivation, immediate action and traction towards who you want to be. So positive visualisation may act to influence the motivation of an athlete to get up at an uncomfortable time in the morning and put themselves through arduous physical conditioning move them towards their goals. There is an element here that starts to touch on Negative Visualisation, that is, visualising the pain and suffering of training or the challenge of abstaining from certain foods and social events.
The danger (at least for a Stoic) arises when Positive Visualisation extends beyond setting goals, building motivation and traction. It becomes problematic when it establishes a overpowering desire or an absolute belief in the achievement of a particular outcome - one that we likely do not control. This runs counter to the Dichotomy of Control, and poses the real risk of causing greater suffering, particularly where your visualisation is so strong that the outcome seems fated or that you are absolutely destined to succeed.
You may not achieve your desired outcome from no fault of your own. Your intent, choices and actions may represent an ideal state - but may not be sufficient. Put simply, due to circumstances beyond your control or influence, the outcome is not what was desired or visualised. The suffering and emotional trauma arising from this ‘failure’ can be significant. Whereas, according to the Stoic way of thinking, you have done all that you could do within your circle of influence or control, and you are therefore successful in achieving your goal - which should only be to act in the best manner available to you. Stoics recognise you can not control the outcome only your thoughts and actions.
So what is Negative Visualisation?
Negative Visualisation involves turning your mind to the possibility of negative outcomes and how this may impact you so that you are better prepared emotionally to deal with the events if, or when, they arise in the future.
Positive Visualisation may seek to have a person immerse themselves deeply and repeatedly in visualising their success and the related actions, events and emotions. Negative Visualisation, on the other hand, seeks to briefly bring your attention to the possibility of a negative event or outcome and to view your emotional attachment and reaction and frame this event.
At its most extreme it asks you to see the passing of your child or other family member - to prepare yourself for that possibility or inevitability. It also asks you to prepare for the loss of possessions that you may value, your job, status, wealth and health etc. If we were to use an analogy of the competitive athlete we would ask them to to recognise the possibility of injury and its emotional and physical impacts, or defeat in a competitive event.
The intent is not to ruminate and focus so deeply and repeatedly on the event that it makes you anxious, nervous and miserable. Rather that you should reason that this negative event could happen to you, as it might anyone - you are no different from anyone else and not immune or protected from such circumstances.
Seneca outlined its value in talking to tranquility of mind:
Nothing happens to the wise man which he did not expect - we do not make him exempt from the chances of human life, or from its mistakes, nor does everything happen to him as he wished it would, but as he thought it would: now this first thought was that his purpose might meet with some resistance, and the pain of disappointed wishes must affect a man’s mind less severely if he has not been at all events confident of success.
How is it used?
It is worth reiterating that its intended use is to make you more familiar with highly charged negative events. Not so that you ruminate on them and become depressed or that you eradicate any emotion should they arise. It centres on your awareness and preparation for negative outcomes.
By regularly contemplating the possibility/likelihood, or even inevitability, you will develop a familiarity and capacity to balance your emotions. The initial emotional response has already been contemplated and felt, though briefly.
In effect, the good practice of Negative Visualisation can provide a grounding for building resilience and the emotional ability to continue to live in accordance with nature, both during and after particular events.
An additional aspect that should not be ignored is that by visualising events that may incorporate loss or denial it provides the opportunity to feel or express gratitude for your current state of affairs.
What is its value?
While emotions such as sorrow or anger may be an initial port of call when we face negative events (being a natural human characteristic), Negative Visualisation provides the means for you to return to a state of equanimity earlier than might be the case, diminishing the depth and breadth of the emotional struggle. It doesn’t discount that the hurt or sorrow may still be there, but you will know you can deal with it. You have already seen it and felt it.
Beyond providing you with the capacity to deal with events that are highly charged - which for some can be so significant that they may never recover emotionally - for instance the loss of a child, Negative Visualisation can promote an exceptionally strong sense of gratitude for what you have now, whether it be family, health, prosperity, status and so on. You don’t take these things for granted as you acknowledge that they could be stripped away from you at any moment, not by your doing, but by mere circumstance. And you are prepared to address and accept these circumstances and consequences.
Have I used it?
I have used Negative Visualisation over a number of years, in some instances before I knew of its name or of the Stoic practice. This lack of awareness of the practice had some detrimental impacts which I will touch on later.
One thing was clear to me was the undoubted truth in the possibility of certain awful events occurring in my life, just as they might in anyone’s. We often go through life feeling we may be blessed, after all bad things always happen to others - they don’t! I also recognised that some events would be so significant that, if I was not prepared for them, there was a good chance they would have the most disastrous impact on my emotional wellbeing - whether for a period of time or forever.
Given this, I have prepared myself by visualising these events - not focusing and ruminating on them constantly (other than in one case of poor practice below). Merely touching on them from time to time and visualising the reality that they may occur and impact me (as they might anyone) and recognising the related emotional responses.
I can give you two examples:
Since the age of 19 I lived in a different country to my parents. Due to the distance and cost of travelling I could only visit once in a blue moon. Each time I visited I imagined this may be the last time I would see them.
It seemed entirely plausible and I said my final goodbyes mentally each time I left - visualising and dealing with the emotional baggage of the death of a parent.
This took place over an extensive number of years. Your parents are never quite as old or frail as you might imagine and sometimes you get lucky with health and avoidance of life-changing accidents.
But, inevitably, my parents did encounter serious health challenges that became insurmountable. The circumstances in which they passed were terribly messy and uncomfortable, but I had prepared - perhaps not for the circumstance but for the loss. I knew what to expect emotionally and it provided a piece of solid ground and the means to return to a levels of equanimity/balance and calmness quicker than would have been the case otherwise. I found that I could quickly see past the emotions of sadness and loss and see the positive impacts they had had in the lives of our family and be grateful for that.
I’d already dealt with the emotions of loss - I recognised it, accepted it and found a balance. Let’s be honest, it didn’t remove all emotion - I wouldn’t want it to - but it did diminish the depth of impact, which frankly I was grateful for.
The second example is a little more challenging and demonstrates that there are consequences if you visualise negative outcomes in the wrong way - if you ruminate over them.
Our second child was born 3 months premature - a stressful situation for any parent. We were anxious for months as he stayed in the NICQ. He progressed well, without too many setbacks and came home on Christmas Eve. Early on we’d had to contend with the fleeting thoughts he might not survive - as was the case for other families who were not as fortunate as we were.
Little did we know it wasn’t over…He suffered from challenges with his breathing for a long-time - in and out of hospital on what seemed like a 6 week cycle. This was an emotionally challenging and charged period.
One weekend he got red cheeks again and next day was back in the ER and admitted - we were used to this now. Little did we know how bad events would go. He survived the night (just) and was then placed into an induced coma and flown to a major hospital and admitted to their ICU. He was teetering on the edge and not improving - his condition and our emotions would be up and down over hours and days, watching his numbers go up and down on the machines and hearing the beeping of alarms.
At our lowest ebb, we eventually had ‘the discussion’. We recognised the very real, if not increasingly likely, possibility that he simply wouldn’t survive. I remember thinking this through, visualising the event and the aftermath for us as a family - not least telling our three year old son that his little brother had died. I went through this frequently over a few days, preparing myself for the eventuality, preparing for the emotional horror and support I would need to provide.
We were lucky - or rather circumstance brought to hand the the most incredibly skilled ER nurses (one male nurse in particular). Due to their efforts and our son’s innate capacity to fight, he gradually improved and ultimately was brought out of his induced coma. A bumpy road still lay ahead.
Six weeks later he was flown to the same hospital again - but this time without the trauma of being placed in an induced coma. I was prepared for the worst again due in part to the previous visualisation. This is where the visualisation takes a more detrimental course. With these events fresh and his continued challenges I found that I’d veered into rumination. Every cough from my son raised alarms and sent my emotions charging back to those moments in ICU, to the real possibility of his death. The impact of this over time was horrendous - I was a mess - and remained on edge emotionally over the following 5 years or so.
I now recognise how much better I would have been if I’d known and practiced Stoicism during that time. The fundamental concepts and practices surrounding the likes of the Dichotomy of Control, Stoic Virtue, Amor Fati, Momento Mori and the proper conduct of Negative Visualisation would have been a great support. I hadn’t practiced Stocism and had stumbled into this negative form of visualisation by pure instinct alone. But my instinct did not offer me any other supports during these times.
Once I did become more aware and practiced in Stoicism, I returned to Negative Visualisation, but in a balanced manner. I found with the knowledge of how to use it, I could now visualise negative events - including loss of family members, job, status, health - without rumination, but with an acceptance that these events may or may not occur (I likely wouldn’t be able to control them), and with an immense sense of gratitude and joy for what I have now! In fact I did have some health challenges for a period of time and found that I’d already prepared myself for these. This diminished their emotional impact.
In summary
The practice of Negative Visualisation has provided a means for me to consider, perhaps anticipate negative events - to effectively recognise “why not me, why shouldn’t this event impact me”.
It has allowed me to recognises that crappy things happen to lots of people - sometimes in an instant. If we are prepared through Negative Visualisation we may be able to cope better for ourselves and family - the intent is not to feel nothing, but perhaps to manage more effectively avoiding extremes of emotional response that can, unchecked, be both painful and harmful.
The practice of Negative Visualisation has also provided the means of feeling extreme gratitude for my good luck and position in life, for the family I have now, for the success, challenges and failures that befall us.
